you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
