so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
its liver damage thursday
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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