She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My balls are so social today.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
