Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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