she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
