Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize