hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
