so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize