therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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