FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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