yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
