On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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