Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
