hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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