I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
