its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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