woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize