her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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