So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
