Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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