Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize