smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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