Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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