I'm jealous of your bromance
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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