It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
