I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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