I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
