Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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