Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
