Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
only you would photoshop your dick
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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