Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she told me i tasted like america
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
