wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
