I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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