She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
