Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
