You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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