The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
