I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
