If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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