Apparently you make a good broom.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
