help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
