After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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