As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
