WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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