do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
