would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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