So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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