He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
