that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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