I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Two words: blizzard sex
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
