as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
