Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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