I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
