He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
