yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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