GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize