just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
