I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
