Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
